Love Does Not Boast

The Greek word used in the 'love passage' of 1 Corinthians chapter 13 for the word 'boast' is perpereuomai, which translates as: 'to vaunt oneself' or 'to brag about oneself'. In other words, this kind of boasting focuses on oneself, rather than the other person.

By nature, we are all selfish people. Even if we don't focus on ourselves all of the time, it is so easy to slip into putting oneself first, and considering things from our point of view rather than another's vantage point and looking out for their needs and desires.

Someone who brags and puts themselves forwards, is not one who is showing love for others, as they take the focus for themselves, rather than acknowledging the accomplishments of others or looking to their needs and desires.

I must confess, I find it all too easy to fall into this trap, when I think about balancing a full-time job as well as doing the housework, keeping on top of what we need, doing the cooking etc. There are times when I feel quite pleased with myself and how I manage things, that I find myself boasting of what a good wife I am, which is not a loving way to behave towards my husband, as I take the focus on myself and brag about me, looking for thanks and recognition, rather than looking at what Tom has done or is doing and thanking him for all he does. Tom is excellent at his job, working full-time as a manager of a cafe which is a vey demanding role, and has a lengthy commute each working day to get there and back. As a manager, he can't just switch off from work at home sometimes, as he might get text messages from staff that he has to deal with, and has even had to end up working on scheduled days off from time to time. On top of that, he deals with looking after our finances (which I delegated to him as that's not my strong point!) and ensuring the bills are paid. He fixes things around the house when they need attention, and helps me out with household jobs when I ask for his help. Tom will often cook dinner on his days off as well, to give me a break, or we'll cook together to share the load. Rather than focusing on all I do, and puffing myself up, I should be focusing on Tom and thanking him for all he does. If I don't, not only will I become boastful, which is not a loving trait, but this can then lead to other negative feelings if I think I'm the one who balances the most work, which is not the case, or not getting the recognition and praise I think I deserve, which is selfish.

Showing gratitude to others for what they do, no matter how big or small, turns the attention from yourself to the other person, which exercises true love. Boastfulness breeds arrogance and arrogance breeds contempt.

True love will focus on others and magnify them, rather than oneself. We should always be striving to serve others without expecting anything in return, praising others without glorifying ourselves and looking to do good without seeking recognition or praise.

Boasting is a selfish action, not a loving one, and probably something we all need to work on, in one way or another.