Love Does Not Envy

We've looked in the past two blog posts as to what love is, but today we're going to delve a little bit into one of the things that love is not, and it's probably something we wouldn't necessarily think of straight away, when we think of traits and characteristics that don't reflect real love: and that's envy.

A Dictionary definition of envy describes it as: 'A feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities or luck' and 'desire to have a quality, possession, or other desirable thing belonging to someone else.'

Is this true of you, in any way, shape or form? Do you ever find yourself envying your spouse's qualities? Their job or the money they earn? Do you ever find yourself feeling resentful because they have something that you don't and long for? Or are you envying others and what they may have that you and your spouse don't have? If any of this rings true for you, these are all tendencies that spring from a place of discontent and not from true love.

When we explore what real love is, we see that it wants the best for the other person. It delights in their victories and highs in life, and comforts them in the lows. True love dwells in a place of contentment, and spurns any negative feelings that arise from envy, no matter how small they may seem. Left unattended, they can fester and grow into something more ugly, and create a barrier between you and your spouse.

Whether you are envying something directly that your spouse has and you don't, or whether you are looking at others and envying what they have for your spouse and yourself, these are feelings you need to nip in the bud now, in order to prohibit them coming between you and your loved one.

A good proverb to remember is: "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." (Proverbs 14:30, The Bible). Not only will envy damage your relationships, but it will damage you, too. A life filled with envy is devoid of real peace.

In the next several blog posts we will be looking at various things that love is not. Think of them as weeds that spring up from time to time. Just as weeds can choke up your garden and take over, so can these harmful traits overrun your life and relationships, if you don't cut them out and get them under control.

Don't harbour envy or resentment in your heart. If you're struggling with it, share how you are feeling and why with your spouse, and talk about it together. Communication is key! I feel very privileged to be married to a man who always shares with me, and I with him, and we always talk about any problems that arise from time to time and pray about them together. I can honestly say that it's truly healthy to do so, and a vital part of our marriage in keeping it strong and weed-free!